STAY STILL

The truth is that the most auspicious time to do the relaxation technique of your choice is the time when you feel the most pressure to jump into action. One such occasion is when we have ended a period of procrastination and are overly eager to get started with a task.  Here the past is impelling us to rush to action. We are thrust into action by shame, guilt, and pride.14. Another occasion is time pressure to meet a deadline. Here the future seizes us by the throat. We are rushed into action by ambition-what should be or shouldn’t be. Fear is its faithful companion. Another tempting time to succumb to premature action is when we need to make a decision among competing priorities. What is the right choice? Here the present fuels our anxiety. Out of confusion, we opt for a quick decision in the moment, which often is not the wise choice.

In all of the above situations, issues of past, present, and future imprison us. All cater to our erroneous belief that our leaping into action instantly is so vitally important. Vivekenanda says that when the demon of pride enters, the monkey mind thinks of itself as all important.15

Don’t you see that taking time for “the pause that refreshes” is in your self interest? Indeed, relaxation breaks will prevent the emotions from ruling your decisions and bring clarity and rationality to the situation.

It is not easy to postpone action at times of guilt, fear, and anxiety. But, if you truly understand that a job or action can be done with less strain and more efficiently by doing a relaxation technique you will realize that you do have the time for a short pause.

In this regard visualization can be helpful. Before commencing your technique, visualize the serenity in body, mind, and spirit you will experience during and following the process, as well as the increased productivity and creative ideas that will result.

TAKE A BREAK

Another strategy that can motivate you to take relaxation response breaks is to ask and verbalize to yourself these questions: “Is taking five minutes before starting a task really going to hamper your task and goal?  In truth, the answer is NO. Can you afford to tune out for five minutes in your long day? In truth, the answer is YES. The fact is that the delay in performance will improve your performance! When you analyze the situation, probably much of your day you have been involved in inconsequential, menial, and routine activities. Would it hurt to then spend a small segment of time to truly nurture self?  In truth, the answer is NO.  

It is a profound and humbling experience to realize that what seems so important and urgent is not as important as it appears. Do you often observe automobile drivers pass you by taking great risks to do so? Then you see them at the next red light as you pull up right behind them. Was their taking such a chance to pass you really worth it? Did it save them any time?  Moral: It is possible to reach your goal with little effort and strain and yet achieve your destination with the same if not more efficiency!

This reminds me of what often happened during my previous career as a lawyer.  On vacation, my clients would often call my office to tell my secretary their dire problems. Since I was away I was not able to help them until I returned. But when I did return to my office after the vacation, I was often surprised that their problems had been solved by other means. I was not as important as I believed! 

Some people find it easier than others to implement a daily program of this kind. They have the discipline and organizational skills to follow a set routine.

Others are not comfortable with structured formal plans. They are able to get the job done in accord with their own time rhythm. If they deem a goal important, they make it a priority. The existentialist psychiatrist Victor Frankel, who survived a concentration camp, has written that if we are certain of the why of a certain action the how follows.16

Lastly, there are those who want to prioritize the incorporation of relaxation techniques in their life but need help to stay with the process. If this is the case, working with a cognitive therapist or a coach can be considered.

If any of the above types have religious or spiritual interests and aspirations, they can harness their belief in a higher power to stay the course. They can utilize prayer, meditation, and scripture as motivation. This is the “faith factor” coined by Herbert Benson, M.D., in his further research as to the positive role of religious and spiritual faith in encouraging people to consistently practice relaxation response activities.17

            STAY FOR THE LONG HAUL

I have stuck with my practice of the relaxation response since college, although I have had many dry days when I have been discouraged with seeming lack of progress. Presently, my major technique is meditation. Before I rise from bed in the morning I say an affirmation, setting a positive tone for my day. Before breakfast I do sitting meditation. I am fortunate to work alone in my apartment office as a psychotherapist and writer so I am able to do short meditations between clients and during breaks from writing. During the day I take t’ai chi chih breaks for its physical and mental benefits. I also consider this to be a form of active meditation. Occasionally I do brief aerobic exercises and light weights. At night, before going to sleep, I read passages from books written by inspiring spiritual teachers.

I can say with assurance that my regular daily practice of relaxation techniques over many years has played a key role in promoting my health, energy, and productivity.

You too can do the same.  Follow the basic principles: realize the importance of frequent relaxation rest periods; pick a technique that fits you and a time spot that is practical; have realistic expectations; make it a daily practice; cultivate patience; and don’t be discouraged by the monkey mind.

FOOTNOTES:

            1. Benson, Herbert, MD, THE RELAXATION  RESPONSE (Avon: N.Y, N.Y.) 1975, pp.98-99

            2. Pantajali, HOW TO KNOW GOD, transalated by Swami Nikilanda (Vedanta Press: Hollywood, CA.), 1952, p.29    

            3. Benson, Herbert, ID, pp.166-167

            4. Benson, Herbert, ID, pp. 18-23, 55-103

            5. Isaacs, Michael, MSW,  , “Enhancing Your Self-Esteem”, INNER REALM, Westwood, NJ, Volume 7, 1998, p.7

            6. Nikilanda, Swami, THE BHAGAVAD GITA, (Ramakrishna-Vivekenanda Center:N.Y.,N.Y), 1947, p.77

            7. Vivekenanda, Swami, MEDITATION AND ITS METHODS,edited by Swami Chetanananda, (Vedanta Press:Hollywood, CA) 1976,p.34       

            8. Grayson, Henry, PHD, MINDFUL LOVING, (Gotham Books: N.Y., N.Y.),2003, p.67

            9. Hora, Thomas, MD, EXISTENTIAL METAPSYCHIATRY, quoting a Chinese sage (The Pagl Foundation: Old Lyme, Connecticut), 2002. p.57

            10. Anonymous author

            11. Goldsmith, Joel S., THE INFINITE WAY, quoting Robert Browning, (DeVorss & Co.: Marina del Rey, CA), p.6

            12. Old Testament Bible, I Kings 19:12

            13. Foust, Jonathan, “Slow Hands”, YOGA JOURNAL, San Francisco, CA, July-August issue, 2005, p.93

            14. Hora, Thomas, MD,ID,pp. 97-98

            15. Vivekananda, Swami, ID, p.34

            16. Frankel, Victor E., MAN’S SEARCH FOR MEANING (Schuster & Schuster Inc: N.Y., N.Y.),1959, pp.117-159

            17. Benson, Herbert, MD, BEYOND THE RELAXATION RESPONSE, (Berkley Books: N.Y., N.Y.), 1984, Chapters 1 & 7

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